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How to Skype Date Like a Champ

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Disclaimer: I would not encourage this as a method for endearing oneself unless you are sure that the woman of your dreams is in agreement that awkward is the new sexy.

So, imagine yourself sitting on your pink couch, wearing an oversized track suit while you’re waiting for your chia, buckwheat and hemp seed cereal to coagulate so you can eat it.  Then you get a video call over skype.  Its your girlfriend, and she’s looking all adorable….

Alyssa: Hey Gorgeous.

Natty: *while attempting to conceal knitting needles* Hi Lyssa.

Alyssa: How’s watching Fringe going?

Natty: I’m working!

Alyssa: mhm.

Natty: blah blah blah rainbows, kittens, things that are sparkly….

Alyssa: blah blah blah tasty chicken strips, shoes, things that are cuddly….

Natty: What’s for lunch?

Alyssa:  I don’t know.  You?

Natty: *Holds up bowl of now semi-coagulated cereal towards computer camera and tilts it forward so that the contents are visible*

Alyssa: *makes that about to say something sound*

Natty: NOOOOOOOO!!!! *does that slow motion watching in horror thing as ALL THE CEREAL slides out of the bowl and lands on top of her laptop*

Alyssa: What?

Natty:  ALL THE CEREAL FELL OUT OF THE BOWL AND LANDED ON MY LAPTOP!

Alyssa: bwahahahahahahahahah….

Natty: STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!

Alyssa: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I like that your reaction is to take a picture HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Natty: !!!@#$%^ I HAVE TO GO!

CRAP! Oh yeah.  I’m totally smooth.

Happily the cereal did not land all over my keyboard.

 

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I Am My Hair

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Ain’t that the truth!

Hair has always been really important to me.  It looks like that has rubbed off onto my daughters, they like cool hair too.

They’ve always just had long hair with bangs, but in the last year have been expressing desire for their own style.  It was my youngest daughter B that I allowed to get a cool hairstyle first.  She’s very much a tomboy, and having long hair seemed to be damaging her soul, so I let her cut all her hair off.  Now she alternates between having a faux hawk and growing it out into a euro mullet.

H had been growing her hair like Rapunzel for what seems like forever… so when she started asking to shave the side of her head, I told her no because I didn’t want her to be sad if she didn’t like it, and because she has been growing her hair for so long.

We were at the salon last Saturday getting ‘fashion lady hairdos’ and B went first and asked for a faux hawk.

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Here’s B with her faux hawk. She’s messed it up a bit, but clearly she hates it :)

While H was waiting for her turn we were talking about how she was going to get her hair done. She was campaigning for having the side of her head shaved, and I reminded her again that she wanted to grow her hair like Rapunzel and I didn’t think it was a good idea because I didn’t want her to be disappointed. Suddenly she got very sad, and she said to me ‘mummy, why do you let B cut her hair however she wants, but not me? I’ve wanted this hair cut for months’.

Awwwww…. Now I feel like a Jerk. I totally do let B do whatever she wants with her hair.  Even when she convinced Alyssa to shave the sides of her head with my little electric bikini shaver thing while I was out one afternoon I didn’t get upset. And I let her keep her little mullet even though it looked awful.

I had no good response for H’s question.  And, to be honest, I’m a little bit proud of her for coming up with such a mature response to me all on her own. So, I said to her, why not get a little undercut for now, see if you like it. If you do, next time you can do the full side of your head.

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H with her baby undercut.

She got the undercut and is pleased as punch.  She’s been showing it to everyone, and I can tell that she thinks she’s so super cool now.

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Meat Is….

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Not appealing.

I’ve been vegetarian on and off since I was in my early teens.  That wasn’t ever a hard habit to keep.  I don’t actually like the taste of meat, it’s always been the tasty sauces that the meat has held up that has appealed to me. (and bacon… especially crispy bacon in maple syrup)  But at times, the allure of tasty sauces held up by meat has lured me away from the veggie cart.

My most recent lapse in not eating meat would be when I was pregnant with my first daughter.  I got back on the wagon around the end of 2012 sometime?… shortly after I started dating my girlfriend.  (she’s vegetarian)

Recently I’ve been having cravings for chicken wings.

Then, last week my girlfriend decided that she wants to go back to eating meat.  As a result, I’ve been cooking a lot of bacon for her over the last few days.  Then yesterday she wanted to eat chicken wings .I tentatively agreed to eat them with her.  To kill the craving.

I’d been watching the clock all afternoon, as time got closer and closer to supper I realized that despite the fact that I had been craving chicken wings, and we were going to get them from a place that makes the best wings ever, I really REALLY didn’t want to eat them.  In part because I know the result will be me feeling like garbage for days.  But also, I just didn’t want to.  The thought of actually eating meat now is just so incredibly gross to me.

I think the craving for chicken wings must have had to do with some emotional thing I was wanting, rather than an actual desire to eat chicken.  And so, I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea to try writing down what I’m feeling when I start craving foods I don’t actually want to eat.  I’m hoping this might help me to understand why I have them and then find another way to address it that doesn’t end in me eating something that is going to make me feel awful for days.

And also, it is encouraging that eventually even though craving certain things that I know don’t agree with me, I will not want to actually eat them.  It makes me hope that eventually I will not want to be anywhere near dairy as well.

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Where Did I Go?

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My girlfriend moved out a few weeks ago (as it turns out I am an asshole who cannot co-habitate), and for the first time in my entire life, I am living on my own.  I’ve been adjusting to this change for the last few weeks, and getting used to the freedom of being on my own.  It’s pretty cool living on my own actually.  I’ve had a few other things happen in the last little bit that are interesting… for me at least :)

Back in what feels like another life, when I was a housewife, I had started a little in home sewing business.  I made aprons.  Lots and lots of pretty aprons.  (I’m sure that I could analyze the irony of that to death… but really, I started making aprons because I spent all my time covered in kid barf and throwing on a flowery apron to protect me from various baby residues made me feel like I was dressed up and put together)  In any case, I had a fancy website and a client base and was all ready to make a career of sewing when numerous life changes made me put that on hold indefinitely.  Until about two weeks ago when I got some sewing requests which might turn into a little hobby for me.

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Here’s one of my aprons, I’ve always liked this print. It reminds me of tattoos.

I gave my girlfriend’s mum one of my aprons that I never sold for Christmas and she loved it so much that she bought two more to give as gifts…. and now I’ve got several orders for more aprons.

To add to that, I’ve got a small job via my sister’s fabric store making a party dress for the first birthday party of one of her customer’s daughter.  She gave me a picture and asked me to replicated it for a one year old.  I think I did a pretty alright job.

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This is the dress that I was asked to copy.

This is the little dress that I made.  I think it turned out pretty cute.

This is the little dress that I made. I think it turned out pretty cute.

Lastly, I’ve booked a new tattoo.  I’m pretty excited about it.  After I started at the job I’m working at now I intended to use my first paycheck to get a chest piece done.  I wasn’t able to get it done, but I’ve saved up the money now and in 4 weeks I will be sporting the beginning of a bumble bee and three lotus flowers.  This one will be a bit different from all of my other tattoos which are either cartoons or old school.  This new one will be more of a perspective image rather than a flat one.  I’m so excited!!

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To Answer Your Question…

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I know it is a question on the tip of the tongue of so many people around me.  How could she not have known? How could she have been with a man for so long? Why not just stay married and ‘not be gay’, since she’s done it before?

Well, to begin… everyone has a different journey in their life.  Every person struggles with different things.  At the age when most people are becoming aware and exploring their sexuality I had other, more pressing, things that I was struggling with. It does not mean that I was not aware of my attraction to women.  Trust me, I was very aware of it.  It means that I wasn’t able to deal with until later in my life.

It was in my late twenties when I felt secure in my home with the family that my former spouse and I had made that I began to relax into myself, sit back and enjoy my life.  That’s when sexuality came to be a thing that really mattered to me.  And then, like most people I suppose, it was a thing that I struggled to accept.  (Ironically, it was the person who was most hurt by my coming out that was the most supportive and accepting.  That my friends, is when i learned what true, unconditional love is)

So, to answer those questions.  I didn’t NOT KNOW.  How could I have been with a man for so long?  Because I love him, and because that is where my journey in life took me.  It’s where I needed to be.  And why couldn’t I just stay there and continue with that life?  Because I couldn’t. For so many reasons I couldn’t.

I believe that life hands us challenges and opportunities for growth when we are ready to deal with them.  Why did I not come out until ‘later in life’? Because that’s when I was ready to, plain and simple.

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Living with the Lady You Love

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There aren’t any social templates for how to be a lesbian couple.  Or at least I didn’t learn any when I was growing up, and I suspect that I am not the only one who didn’t.

Sure, I was in a heteronormative relationship for years and that was not a problem.  Every knew how that relationship was supposed to go, each person’s role in the relationship was culturally prescribed.  My partner and I both knew ‘how to be’.

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It isn’t so easy when you love another lady though.  Neither my girlfriend or I were ever socialized with any examples of that growing up.  I suppose this is one of the many reasons that visibility of healthy lesbian and gay couples in pop culture and elsewhere is so necessary.  (just for kicks, I did an internet search on how to be in a lesbian couple, and how to cohabitate.  All I could find were step by step guidelines for how to determine if I am in fact a lesbian, and how to identify other lesbians)

I have recently been wondering if the root of the tension present between my girlfriend and I since we moved in together can be traced back to this.  For both of us, the only real experience we have living with another woman was living with our mothers.  For both of us, it was mostly just us and our mom growing up.

I realized that we each appear to be trying (not consciously, I hope) to create the dynamic that we had with our mother.  Which has unfortunately led to a toxic living situation for both of us.

Fortunately there are some resources that we can access to try to help us create a more healthy dynamic. But the whole situation leaves me feeling a little bit demoralized, thinking about how everything has to be so much more difficult.

It does give me comfort however, to think that despite all these struggles I am still happier being who I really am, and that because of that, hopefully my children will feel safe and confident as they grow and know that whoever they are, they are loved.

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Selfish Knitting Season

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I’m almost done all of my “Christmas Knitting”.  I have only two more projects to finish, one kids hat and one lady’s scarf.  After that, comes selfish knitting season. Or the period of the year where i knit things for myself.

I always make a really grand plan for how I’m going to knit myself an entirely new wardrobe, completely forgetting the fact that I don’t have the time, and more importantly, nothing I knit ever ends up looking the way its supposed to.  So i end up with a half finished sweater, some wonky scarves and a whole lot of yarn.

This year will be no different.

Well… maybe a bit different.  I’m trying to pick some projects that will use up yarns that I already have in my stash.

Here’s my list of what I want to knit this year… before I have to start my holiday knitting in September. (and if you are a knitter, I know you are laughing a bit because a) you know how ridiculous my list is, and b) you know you have an equally ridiculous list).  The titles should link to the Ravelry page for each project.

Rosa Wrap

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This is the Rosa Wrap by Ann Schulz
It looks super warm and cozy.

Cobalt Cardi Wrap

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The pattern for this cardi-wrap is from Americo.  This tiny picture is the best one that I could find.  But I’d love to make it in a nice soft merino or alpaca.

Mothed

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Mothed would be so cozy and warm in the wintertime!

Flinders Sweater Vest

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pattern is from clickertyclick. I have some recycled yarn I would like to make this with.

Scoop Neck Vest

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I’ve really been wanting to wear knitted vests lately. I quite like this Blue Sky Alpacas pattern.

Mohair Bias Loop

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from Churchmouse Yarns and Teas.

I have a kit to make this mohair shawl/wrap thing in super light green.  I have no idea what I was thinking when I got it.  I’ll probably end up gifting it to someone.

Lanesplitter Skirt

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This skirt was published in knitty. I think a shorter version would look cool over my jeans.

Yup, that’s my list.  I edited a bit while writing the post.  There were three other projects on my list that I removed while making this blog post… because now my list is so much more attainable!